Wednesday, January 04, 2006


I like strawberry margaritas. They are gay, I know. Okay, here's a problem with the current state of the slice of society I live in. Everything is gay. I'm not complaining that there are too many homosexuals, Maybe there are, but that's not my view nor complaint. I'm complaining about word usage and public displays. A high school student in a math class whined, "Math is gay." Another student, while watching a video on the solar system, dismissed it saying, "Space is gay." Do you see what I'm saying? These things are inherently non-sexual yet kids assign gayness to them as a sign of negativity. Now, I'm far from defending homosexuals or their rights, I still feel that sex is a private thing. I don't want to know what other people's sexual habits are. I do not need a yearly parade to remind me of people's rights or habits. Go be gay, have a great time, but stop telling me about it. I see it like old people having sex, fine I know it's going to happen but I don't want to think about it, keep it to yourselves. Homosexuality is apparently so fashionable and prevelent that the sexuality of nearly everything is now in question.

My buddy and I had all these free drink coupons and we were drinking a great many beers. Eventually we used all the beer coupons and each had one margarita coupon left. We asked the bartender if we could get beers instead, he said no, so we got margs. Sitting there, my buddy and me, no girls and with two margaritas, I called the bartender back over and ordered two beers. My buddy asked if I was tossing the margarita, I said no but I just needed to cancel out the gayness of the two margs with a couple beers.

However I like margaritas. I usually try to take a date to Fred's Mexican Cafe or if not a date then one of my few female friends. I absolutely use them as an excuse to drink margaritas. But lately I've been going in there solo and just having some tacos and a single glass of alcohol Slurpee. Sigh ... yeah margaritas are gay, math is gay, space is gay, my brother thinks blogs are gay. Well I don't give a fuck. Sometimes I like a few margaritas, sometimes I even like a Midori Sour, pretty damn gay huh, but that's just an ignorant view inflicted on something totally non-sexual. LL Cool J rhymed: He said, "Your earring's cute." I said, "I'm wearing an earring but it ain't no fruit loop."

Monday, January 02, 2006

"Hey Hicks, you look like I feel"

Sometimes I feel like I'm just a tiny little something sitting inside my head behind my eyes. I look down at my body and it feels like I'm looking out the window or viewscreen of a robot. Maybe there's a little spigot by the pilot's seat that allows a tiny sample of whatever the machine ingests. Maybe I've just watched too many giant robot cartoons. Hopefully more on this subject as the drinks I direct my robot to imbibe permeate all systems.

"We're brothers..."

My brother e-mailed me this wonderful story this morning:
"A guy goes over to his younger brother's house a few weeks [less than two weeks actually] after giving him a case of beer for X-Mas [in addition to other gifts]. The case was given to him some time back, and the older brother questions how his brother could go through it [and three other twelve packs] even when he has guys and occasional girls coming over to visit each day as they party into the new year. During the show Monk, the older brother runs out of beer he sees that his younger brother is going to the fridge for a beer for himself so he sees no problem in asking for a beer, but there are only two beers left. The older brother lives just next door where he has several cold beers so it would be no problem getting one himself but he would rather drink his brothers last last cold beer [still another case sitting there]. His brother feels like he shouldnt have to explain why those beers are almost gone. He asks his older brother that if he gives away his last beer will he bring him a replacment that night so he has enough to be happy for the night. The older brother remains seated and either agrees knowing that he is lying or just ignores his younger brother. [Yeah, I ignored him.] Once the beers are drank the older brother goes back next door and the younger brother assumes he will get back what he gave out, only to realize that he had to go next door himself. He leaves his company and goes next door...the younger brother tries to knock some sense into his brother by making a remark that he had to go out of his way for this stupid beer... the older brother questions whether he is serious, acting like this is no big deal, which it really shouldnt be. The younger brother just deals with it because he is trying to be a good brother and a nice guy, maybe next time he will not share with his brother who probably would not have shared his last beer the same way. Later his older brother sends him an email about his BlogSpot, not yet realizing that his brother is tired of that stuff and thinks it is a bit gay and waste of time. The younger brother still loves his older brother, but he is tired of this type of crap that can just build up over time and explode!" [Boom!]